Short story: “All That Fairy Tale Crap”

by look i have opinions

“All That Fairy Tale Crap,” by Rachel Swirsky

First appeared in the anthology Glitter & Mayhem (buy here); reprinted here in issue 55 of Apex Magazine, December 2013

4,199 words

This is just irritating. I mean, I love metafiction, okay? I sort of like the main character of this piece (Cinderella, only not). I like things like this:

You start out with three tools. You’re pretty. You have small feet. And you can do housework.

Now become a princess.

Go on. Laugh. Shatter glass class ceilings? Yeah, right.

But the story just goes on and on, alternating between semi-pointless scenes and self-conscious prattling. The narrator addresses the reader directly way too much.

I do like the last line, and the ending generally. I wish somebody had edited this down.