Yogi tea bag tag maxims continue to anger me
by look i have opinions
“You must know that you can swim through every tide and change of time.”
—tag on another Yogi tea bag
Okay, this one is slightly less nonsensical than the last one, but it’s still pretty bad. Is it supposed to be a slant-rhymed iambic tetrameter couplet with a missing unstressed syllable in the first foot? That would explain the seemingly pointless opener “You must know that” (metrical filler), but it doesn’t explain what a “change of time” is. Change that takes place over time, like the tides? Or perhaps it’s supposed to refer to a change in musical time that could trip up a dancer? (Unlikely.) I read the overall sentiment as something like “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle,” only without the God part and without any limitations on “your” powers, so it ends up sounding weirdly cheerleadery and hyperbolic: “You can handle anything!”
Or it may be that “You must” is actually more of an injunction, and the tea bag is trying to make sure you have this critical information, without which you might perish from lack of self-confidence or something.
This isn’t my best-written or most clearly written blog post ever, but at least I will never be as terrible as this stupid tea bag tag.